I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
