If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
