If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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