i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I've blown a few things in my day
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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