Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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