I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
