I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
