just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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