Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
