Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
