now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
