i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
it's great music for shaving your balls
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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