The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
