between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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