Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
