YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
