Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Who wears a wallet chain?!
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
