So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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