Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize