please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
