They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
