What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
