O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
