She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
