whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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