You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
