i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
