I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
