3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
The struggles of a small town man whore
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