Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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