when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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