why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
