____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
