just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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