THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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