just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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