have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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