I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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