My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
handjob tips. give me some.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
