were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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