i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
