The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
