my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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