Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
