I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
