Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
