I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
