I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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