I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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