Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Come share oat with me in your robe
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
