Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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