Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
